


Too close

by orphan_account



Category: The Bold Type
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2019-12-07 10:27:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18233669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: If you are a writer at Scarlet, verifying sex positions is just work. But what if real chemistry happens?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my first fanfiction and I probably suck at writing (and at English as it is not my native language) but I needed to get this off my chest. Could be a one-shot, could have more chapters, I don't know it yet. Feel free to tell me what you think :)  
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.

Jane was wandering around the bullpen with sex charts in her hand. As it was getting late, most writers have already gone home. The few people left were all males and the last thing she wanted was Alex rocking his body next to hers while drooling over the charts. Of course this had to be the pride edition featuring some girl-on girl action. Of course the only female left in the office had to be Jacqueline. The blond was leaning back in her chair and noticed Jane shuffling about. She rose to her feet and strolled through the bullpen to see what’s wrong. She took a glimpse of the papers and realised what’s going on.

„Need a hand?” -she chaffed as she stood next to the shorter woman.

„More than a hand, actually. Sage gave me these for verification because she has a sprained wrist or something but by the time I finished my own work everyone have left and these are due tomorrow...” – the brunette started ranting.

„Let me see. - she took the papers and started analyzing them, turning her head in different angles trying to imagine if it is possible to bend two bodies like that. – Well, these really need to be verified, they look quite... tricky. I can help you out if it’s okay.”

Jane gulped. Somehow the thought of their bodies touching, even fully dressed, made her feel uneasy, but she was desperate to get help and Jacqueline was her only chance, so she nodded, trying to look confident.

„Sure, the fashion closet is empty now, we can do it there.”

Jacqueline followed her to the fashion closet and locked the door behind them. The familiar clicking made Jane’s shoulders relax a little. She started taking off her stilettos and tight blazer and Jacqueline followed suit until they were standing there dressed as comfortably as possible. They moved to the ottoman.

„So, where do we start?”-the blonde broke the silence.

Jane picked up the first chart and they tried to mimic the position. It was a bit clumsy and awkward at first, but eventually they eased into it. There was only minimal touching and luckily no oral sex positions were involved.

 Jane couldn’t help but notice how well their bodies fit together and when her hand accidentally brushed over soft skin she could swear she felt goosebumps. „Maybe it’s just my cold hands.”-she thought. There’s no way that her badass, straight, married -oops, divorced, older boss would find her attractive. And even if she did it wouldn’t matter. She’s into guys, right? RIGHT?

 

„You need to be the bottom in this one, my hair is too short -Jacqueline suggested when they reached the 4th one- don’t worry, I will be gentle.”

As Jane positioned herself on the ground  the blonde straddled her from behind and grabbed her ponytail. Jane let out a little cry.

„Is it working?” – Jacqueline asked.

„Nope, you’re just pulling my hair too hard – they both burst out laughing- I think we can call this one busted. I don’t see how anyone could enjoy this.”

„I don’t like it either, let’s move on to the last one.” – the editor chimed looking at the last chart.

 This one was the most difficult of all, but not in the technical sense of the word. Jane glanced at the chart, too. They had to get really, unprofessionally close. She became nervous again, her stomach dropped and her heart started beating faster. She fought the urge to run away, kneeled in front of her boss and watched her as she did the same. They moved in closer, intertwining their knees closely, but their pubic bones were not touching yet. Jane held her breath and she realised the other woman did, too. Neither of them dared to hold eye contact for more than a few seconds.

„Wow, this is really intense. Definitely not one night stand stuff” – the brunette laughed nervously and it seemed to work as the blonde finally let out the breath she was holding.

„I don’t see how a sex position can be inappropriate for casual sex particularly -she replied with her signature smirk- Care to elaborate?”

Jane felt her face turn beet red, but answered anyway. She started to feel relaxed around this woman and knew that she would never judge or make Jane uncomfortable in any way. 

„Maybe I wouldn’t be comfortable with a stranger seeing my face when... -she blushed without even saying the word- I find this (she gestured to their faces) much more intimate than this (she waved her hand between their bodies).”- she finished in a small voice, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

After finishing her sentence Jane became fully aware of their closeness. Her boss’s hands were on the small of her back while hers were just hanging on her sides. They were staring into each other’s eyes and the look on Jacqueline’s face made her feel vulnerable, but safe at the same time. It radiated understanding, softness and something else that she couldn’t quite wrap her head around.

„If this is getting uncomfortable for you we can stop right now and I will have someone get back on this first thing in the morning” – the editor offered.

„No, it’s okay, I don’t mind you watching me – she mentally kicked herself- Uhh, I mean... you’re not... we’re not having... Just forget that I said anything, okay?”-she stuttered.

„I’m in if you’re in -the smirk was back on her lips- Let’s finish this up so we can go home, Ben must be waiting for you.”

Jane sighed.

„We broke up. I mean, _I_ broke up with _him_. – that was all she said.

„Sorry to hear that. How are you holding up?”-she could see genuine worry in Jacqueline’s eyes. Ben was Jane’s first decent boyfriend, he helped her through hard times and her boss knew it.

„It’s fine, really. It’s for the best for both of us. Ben is a great guy and he deserves someone who adores him... who gets him. I realized I am not that someone and decided to end it for his sake. I miss him sometimes, but most of the time I just feel relieved. -she smiled gently at the blonde to wash away the remains of her worry. – Shall we?”-she pointed between them.

The taller woman nodded and they moved in closer. Jane had to put her hands on Jacqueline’s hips to hold her close. Their chests were grazing each other and they could feel the other’s breath on their face.

 The blonde’s knee touched Jane’s mound and she had to fight hard to keep her breathing even and slow. Jacqueline noticed the change on her face but chose to stay silent because she knew the brunette would freak out if she mentioned it. Jane mustered all her courage and pushed her knee between she blonde’s legs. Touching her there, even with her knee made the discomfort between her own legs even worse. They still held eye contact, neither woman willing to look away. Suddenly something let loose inside Jane, she felt her hips grinding into the other woman’s knee, her breath catched and she let out a barely audible moan. Her rational mind took over, she pulled away a little and just stayed there, perfectly still. There was no way that Jacqueline didn’t notice this. Jane’s eyes grew wide with fear -this was borderline sexual harassment- but she still couldn’t get herself to move away. She stared at the wall behind Jacqueline, trying to calm down and considering her next move.

„I think we can consider this doable” -the older woman finally spoke. She didn’t sound upset at all, her voice was soft and casual. She gently moved away from the brunette, stood up and helped her to her feet.

Jane was still speechless, her shoulders stiff, avoiding the other woman’s gaze.

„I’m sorry” -she uttered.

Jacqueline turned to face her, but instead of talking she just looked into the brunette’s eyes intently and raised her eyebrows. Jane knew it was her clue to continue.

„I didn’t think, my body just reacted... to yours.... and my reaction was highly inappropriate.” -she finished, looking at her toes.

„Jane, stop acting like you just raped me. You got a little... carried away, that’s all. I trust you enough to not feel bothered by this. Look at me, please.”-she reached for the shorter woman’s hand and gave it an encouraging little squeeze.

Jane reluctantly looked at her and as soon as she saw those gorgeous blue orbs she felt better. Her boss really meant what she said, she could see it in her eyes.

„We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. Nothing will change between us. I just wanted you to know that you did nothing wrong, okay?”

„Okay.”-she nodded and managed to flash a weak smile. She knew that as soon as she steps out of the office she will start analyzing the events over and over in her mind until she has a panic attack, but for that moment she felt surprisingly calm.

They both got their shoes and blazers back on, the editor unlocked the door and they moved through the now empty bullpen. After saying their goodbyes Jane headed straight to the elevators and Jacqueline went back to her office.

Just as she expected, the wheels in Jane’s head started spinning like crazy as soon as she got out of the building. In this state she normally would have called Kat or Sutton, but this time she couldn’t. She decided to walk home even though her flat was awfully far away. After a few blocks her heels started bothering her, so she took them off and continued walking barefoot. She heard her phone beeping and checked it. It was a text from Jacqueline. This was weird, she used to stick to phone calls. The message was short.

_Everything okay?_

_Yes, I’m fine._

_This time I don’t believe you. Send me a picture?_ -as Jane read this she could see that the older woman was still typing.

_of your face_

Her face was red and puffy from crying. Clearly not in the mood for selfies. Her phone chimed again.

_Sorry,this was too much._

She let out a relieved sigh.

_It’s okay._

_Just stay safe, OK?_

_Sure, see you tomorrow._

_Good night, Jane_

_Good night._

She put her phone back to her pocket. She was glad that their awkward conversation was over, but her anxiety level started rising again.

After what seemed like an eternity she reached her flat and stormed in, grateful that Sutton spent so much time at Richard’s. She cleaned up the whole apartment in one go as a distraction and then took a long, hot bath. She went to bed around 2 in the morning but the thoughts just wouldn’t stop.

What’s going on with her? Is it just pent up sexual frustration or something more? She clearly likes Jacqueline as a person, damn, she admires her. The blond badass is her only safe place besides her best friends. She’s definitely not just a friend. Not a mother figure, either. Until this day she thought that she looks up to her as her mentor, so maybe this is just a serious case of hero worship. Yes, that will do it, this has to be it. Much more calming than the other possibility that she refused to say even in her thoughts. _Hero worship_. She kept repeating it to herself like a mantra until she finally fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter with Jacqueline's thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really grateful for all the feedback, keep it up, guys :)

Boss lady’s POV

Jacqueline couldn’t say that she hadn’t been touched by the events that took place at the fashion closet. She had no bad intentions when she offered to help, but being so close to Jane’s body certainly made her feel things. These things were not entirely of sexual nature. She appreciated the brunette’s delicate features and the softness in her eyes as much as the perfect breasts that were pressed against her chest. She wanted to wrap her arms around her and tell her how beautiful she is just to see her blush and feel a tiny bit better about herself.

When they were kneeling so close to each other she needed all her willpower to stay still and stop the words from flowing out of her mouth. Then she felt Jane’s breathing change and... well, technically speaking she was grinding her pussy on her employer’s thigh and enjoying it. Jacqueline should have felt offended, uncomfortable at least, but all she felt was surprise and, if she was really honest with herself, arousal.

The moment ended as Jane’s normal, guarded self took over and Jacqueline knew she shouldn’t press the matter any further. She reassured the brunette that she did nothing wrong, which was true, but she had a lot more to say.

After they parted ways she decided to down a glass of Scotch in her office before heading home. The boys were with her this week and Connor was like a radar for emotional disturbances, so she needed to cool down before meeting them.

Thoughts were racing in her head and she tried not to jump to conclusions. They were much more comfortable with each other than colleagues should be, that was quite obvious. They’ve been through a lot of ups and downs complete with yelling, crying and sharing their deepest secrets. Jane was her only writer who has ever been invited to Jacqueline’s home. When she was facing a problem she often felt the need to call Jane and discuss it with her because her opinion seemed invaluable. When Ian and her decided to file for divorce Jane wasn't the first person to notice that something was off but she was the first who Jacqueline was willing to talk about it. They were boss and employee and still more than that in a way that Jacqueline couldn’t explain.

 As she managed to get out of her own head she thought about the other woman. She’s well known for over-analyzing everything to the point of getting a panic attack and this situation was surely no exception. She needed to text her to make sure she was okay.

***

Asking her to _send a damn picture_? What was she, a creepy stalker? Or her mother? Jacqueline was bumping her head into a metaphorical wall for sending that last text. _Was she out of her mind?_ She texted Jane to make sure she was okay, not to push her even deeper into her anxiety. _Good job, Jac. So much for being a professional, supportive mentor, you dumb bitch._ -she hissed to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both women try to act like nothing happened, but bottling up your feelings always takes its toll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all for the nice comments. Enjoy this next chapter :)  
> PS: I don't own any of the characters.

The elevator pinged and Jane returned to the now empty bullpen. After a week of awkwardness and avoiding her boss she was drowning her thoughts in alcohol at the bar around the corner. She realized 4 tequilas too late that she left her phone at her desk. As she was drunkenly tiptoeing to get it -even though no one was there- she saw movement from the corner of her eye and froze. _What the hell was her boss doing in her office at 8 pm on a Friday?_

She wanted to stay unnoticed, but her curiosity took over and her feet took her to the well-known glass office. The editor was sitting on her couch with her legs stretched out, her left ankle looking horrible, but her face stoic as always.

„Jacqueline, oh my god, what happened?” -she tried to sound sober and failed miserably.

„My new Louboutin’s heel broke, I fell off the treadmill and now I’m waiting for the painkiller to kick in so I can go home” – the blonde said matter-of-factly.

„I know that dating a doctor didn’t make me one, but I think you should get that checked out”

„No, it’s fine, just a sprain. I’ve had a few before and I know one when I see it -she winced as she tried to change her position- or feel it.”

„With all due respect, Jacqueline, I don’t think you are right in this particular instance. Let’s call a cab and get you to she ER before your ankle swells to the size of a Zeppelin”-the brunette insisted.

When the woman didn’t move she continued.

„You either get going or I will put all my gym training to work and carry you all the way to the ER. Your choice.” -damn, she was drunk.

Jacqueline opened her mouth to protest but deep down she knew Jane was right, so she decided to go with the flow. Also, she was in awe of tiny Jane suddenly taking the lead.

Jane helped her limping editor to the elevator. Jacqueline tried to put as little weight on her as possible, but as she realized how strong the petite woman actually was she leaned on her a little more.

A lot of painful steps later they made it to the ER. Jane was still holding on to Jacqueline’s hand after they took a seat in the waiting area and the blonde acted like she didn’t notice because she didn’t want Jane to freak out and the moment to end. The small hand in hers was all softness and caring. She lifted her thumb to caress it, but changed her mind. Her name was called and a nurse came for her with a wheelchair. She looked back at Jane, mouthed „thank you” and disappeared into the exam room.

„No fracture, no ruptured ligaments, free to go home.”-she announced, startling Jane from her slumber.

„Great, for once I’m glad that I was wrong. Now, if you don’t mind, I will bring you home” -the tiny woman chimed, still not her usual self.

Jacqueline almost pointed out the fact that she now had crutches and could move from A to B on her own, but she didn’t feel like being alone, so she just let the brunette chaperone her. As she watched the woman she couldn’t quite decide who needed help more. She wasn’t blackout drunk, but her common sense was surely gone.

 

 As they rode the elevator to her flat Jacqueline looked over to her tiny companion and for a moment she was afraid that she is going to fall asleep right there. She gently tapped her shoulder.

„Jane, are you alright?”

„Yes, sorry, I am awake. -she mumbled while trying to stand up straight- Very awake.” -she didn’t sound convincing.

„I really appreciate your help, but I think I will be fine now. You should go home and have some rest. I will make you some coffee now and then call you a cab, OK?” -the boss offered.

Considering how drowsy the other woman was it would have been reasonable to let her stay for the night. But sleepy Jane was cute, _alarmingly cute_ , she thought. She couldn’t trust herself around her, not with all those pain meds fogging her brain. _„Obviously it is the right choice to put her in a cab drunk and half-asleep in the middle of the night and hope for the best just because you can’t handle yourself. Shame on you again.”_

She limped back to the couch trying not to spill the coffee all over the place only to find Jane asleep and snoring. Her heart melted. For a moment she imagined cuddling her, feeling her warmth, burying her face in the crook of her neck and inhaling her scent, but reality kicked her right in the ass. She is her _damn_ employee who is also _way too asleep_ to give her consent. She shook her head to make the thoughts go away, but it was almost painful to let them go. Even though her mind told her that it was all wrong her heart said otherwise. What if they are soulmates? What if they really need each other to feel whole? _„Life is not a rom-com, you’re old enough to know that. Now go to sleep and leave this poor girl alone.” -_ she scolded herself _._

She hobbled back to the kitchen, put down the coffee and took a bottle of water instead. She also grabbed a blanket on her way back to the couch and tucked Jane in, trying to touch her as little as possible in the process.

Finally lying in her bed her thoughts went back to Jane. She showed her confident side that night and Jacqueline definitely liked it. Yes, she was drunk, but alcohol can only bring out the traits that you already have. Very few people could boss Jacqueline around and Jane was one of them. _And she didn’t mind at all._

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up with a hangover in your boss's apartment is as awful as it sounds. Or is it?

Jane woke up to a throbbing headache, but she forgot about it as soon as she opened her eyes and realised where she was. _At Jacqueline’s apartment. HER BOSS’S APARTMENT, FOR GOD’S SAKE._ The next thing her brain registered was the smell of pancakes. She closed her eyes again and tried to process the situation. She got drunk, left her phone in the office and went back to get it. She found Jacqueline, god knows how, but took her to the ER and then home. The last thing she remembered was stepping into the elevator, but _obviously_ she slept on the couch and Jacqueline slept in the bedroom, so it was all cool. After putting it all together she was more or less ready to face the world. And _her boss_ who was apparently making pancakes for breakfast. _So surreal._

Jacqueline saw the shorter woman sitting up on the couch and rubbing her forehead, but decided to give her some time and act like she didn’t notice. She was making pancakes for the first time since the boys moved out with Ian. When it was „mommy day” or„mommy weekend” they always ate brunch at one of their favourite places. She missed them like hell and it broke her heart to let them go, but considering how much time she spent at work it was the best for James and Connor to stay with their dad.

She forgot about her injured ankle and put too much weight on it while reaching for the blueberries. Jane heard her hiss and immediately jumped up from the couch.

„Oh my god, Jacqueline, you shouldn’t even be on your feet, let alone make pancakes, at least let me help.”

She was so dizzy from getting up quickly that she had to grab the kitchen counter to keep her balance.

„Woah, Jane, sit down. -she handed her a glass of water, this time more careful about her ankle- I can handle it, it’s almost done anyway.”

Jane did as she was told. This hangover was terrible, she really didn’t feel well enough to help. As she took a seat on a nearby chair her eyes drifted to the taller woman’s body. She was wearing a maroon Victoria’s Secret pullover with matching sweatpants. She was barefoot because of her swollen ankle and the brunette could see her perfectly polished toenails. _Red, of course. So Jacqueline._ – she thought. The blonde looked _insanely good_ in casual clothes. She deliberately avoided the word _sexy,_ even in her mind.

„How are you feeling?”-Jacqueline asked as she handed her a plate full of pancakes and took a seat next to her with her own plate.

„Did a truck run over me last night? Because I am feeling _exactly_ like that. But these pancakes are making up for it. -she took a bite and oh my god, they were delicious- Thank you, Jacqueline, you really didn’t have to make me all of this.”

„I thought they would help you with your hangover.” -her boss said and Jane could hear a hint of disapproval in her voice.

„I’m so sorry, Jacqueline. You shouldn’t have seen me like that.”

„It’s okay, everyone gets drunk sometimes. -she couldn’t tell her how worried she was about Jane wandering around on the streets in such a vulnerable state- Anyway, thank you for your help last night. You were right, I wouldn’t have made it home without the crouches. And without _you_.” -she smiled as she said the last word.

Jane blushed, but didn’t say anything. They ate their pancakes silently. Jacqueline glanced over to the brunette. Her hair was a mess, her face puffy and covered in makeup stains from the night before, but she still found her adorable. When they finished their pancakes Jane offered to do the dishes and this time Jacqueline didn’t protest. She sat on the couch, put up her injured leg and turned on the TV.

„Toddlers and Tiaras?- the brunette exclaimed as she finished the dishes – I thought I was literally the only one who watches this show. Do you mind if I...” -she stood next to the couch, unsure what to do. _Would it be rude if she stayed? Maybe she should just go home. No one spends their Saturday afternoon watching TLC with their boss. But Jacqueline certainly wasn’t just her superior._

„Not at all, come here.”-the blonde patted the couch next to her.

Jane sat next to her, sitting tightly at first, but by the time the 5 to 6 year-olds finished their formal wear round she started to feel at ease. They watched the show in comfortable silence until Jane started talking, her eyes still on the screen.

„You weren’t _that_ behind on your step count, were you.”-it wasn’t a question.

„You’re right. And I guess you didn’t really need _that_ much alcohol, either.”-this hurt, but it was true.

„Nope.”

„Jane, if you want to talk about it, I am here. I mean it. ”-she looked deeply into hazel eyes.

„I... Yes. No. I mean... I _do_ want to talk about it, but I don’t think I can.” -Jane stuttered.

„Why is that?”

„ I have no idea why I did _that_ thing, I never meant to disrespect you. I’m feeling like a disgusting pervert... I care about how you see me... a lot... and now I am afraid that I ruined everything and don’t know how to fix it. – she finished on the verge of tears, with her eyes fixed on the TV again.

„Jane, look at me. _Please.”-_ Jacqueline pleaded.

Jane reluctantly obeyed.

„Do I look like I’m disgusted by you? Do you think I could _ever_ be?”

„After what I’ve done, yes.”

The blonde sighed. She hated to see Jane so hurt. _Disgusting? Really?_ The young woman was punishing herself for nothing and she needed to fix that.

 „Jane, a lot of things have happened between us since you started at Scarlet. You shouted at me in front of the whole office. You didn’t tell me you were leaving Scarlet until the very last day, then you asked me to take you back. We’ve had numerous arguments and still, I have never ever had any hard feelings for you. I couldn’t resent you even if I tried and I definitely don’t see you as a pervert. Do you know that?”

Jane just shook her head and tears rolled down her cheeks. _She didn’t deserve this woman._ Suddenly she felt the overwhelming urge to hug her and for once she didn’t resist. She wrapped her arms around the blonde. Jacqueline tensed at first, but quickly relaxed into the embrace. They both needed this desperately. Jane felt like she could breathe for the first time since the incident in the fashion closet and Jacqueline smiled contently into her hair as she felt the tension in her shoulders disappear. After a while they both knew they should let go, but neither of them moved. It felt like their bodies and souls were melting together, filling the cracks and holes, healing each other. It was Jane who pulled away, but she still stayed close and rested her hand on the taller woman’s knee, who didn’t seem to mind. Jane finally mustered the curage to ask the question that was on her mind since last night.

„Want to tell me about _your_ problem?” -she offered a weak smile to lighten the mood.

The blonde smiled back at her, but she could feel her hesitation.

„Sorry, it’s none of my business. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”-the brunette apologised.

„No, it’s okay, we should discuss it. You were honest with me and I want to be honest with you, too. That day in the fashion closet... you weren’t the only one with unprofessional thoughts. You were... _damn, I will just say it,_ you were grinding on my thigh and I was _way too okay_ with it.”

Jane’s jaw dropped, but she tried to hide her surprise.

„So basically you are bothered by how much you _weren’t bothered_ by my... actions?”

„Exactly. All through my career I have always kept things professional with my employees. Not that I have felt anything... like _this_ towards any of them, but still. And now I feel like I failed as a boss and as a person.”

„Jacqueline, you didn’t do anything.”

„No but I _felt_ something even though I didn’t _act on it_.”- it was Jacqueline’s turn to fix her gaze on the screen.

Jane gulped hard at the thought of her boss acting on her desires. _Jacqueline.... desire...._ Her head was spinning, but her heart was aching at the same time.

„You are my boss, but that’s just a part of you. Most importantly you are _Jacqueline_ , a person with your own thoughts and feelings and you should never feel bad about them. I know you would never be inappropriate at work. I trust you, Jacqueline. Please don’t be so hard on yourself.”

The editor was touched. Hearing these words from Jane was beyond comforting and she felt a warm, fuzzy feeling growing in her chest. She offered Jane her warmest smile and squeezed her hand. jane returned the smile and they just sat there looking into each other’s eyes, none of them knowing what to say. After a while Jacqueline noticed a confused look on the shorter woman’s face.

„Penny for your thoughts?”-she said softly.

„I was just thinking... Did I really threaten to carry you to the hospital or was it just a dream?” -Jane asked, still looking worried.

„No, that was real.”-she deadpanned.

Jane held her breath for a moment, but when she saw the expression on Jacqueline’s face she burst out laughing and so did the other woman. They watched the rest of the show together and Jane finally felt at ease. She didn’t know where this was going and neither did the blonde, but they were in it together. _Why was she so worried before? This is Jacqueline, her safe place, the most amazing woman she knows (no offence, Sutton and Kat). She’s going to figure it all out. They’re going to figure it out together._


	5. Chapter 5

Jane’s phone chimed and a notification popped up. She put down her coffee, sighed and leaned over her phone.   _Pitch Meeting. What the hell, pitch meeting is always on Wednesday... Oh yeah, this is what I keep forgetting every damn week. Digital on Wednesday, aka Patrick day  and print on Tuesday, aka Jacqueline day._

She hated _Patrick days,_ but Tuesdays were fun, well, kind of. Jacqueline was still an encouraging and generally awesome editor, but she had been pushing them pretty hard since losing digital. _Which was mostly my fault.-_ she recalled, even though the blonde repeatedly told her that she had nothing to do with it. She also missed Kat, who only attended the meetings for digital, of course.

„Everyone, saddle up, pitch meeting in 5”-Jacqueline announced in a happy tone. Their eyes met for a moment, Jane instinctively beamed at her and the blonde returned the smile. Even this simple gesture was enough to make Jane feel like she was walking on air.

***

The meeting was over, everyone started gathering their stuff and getting back to work.

„Jacqueline, do you have a second?” -Jane stepped next to her.

„Sure, but let’s go back to my office, another meeting starts there in 10.”

As they were standing closer to each other Jane noticed that her boss looked different. Was it her hair? Or the clothes? She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it was surely there. She didn’t realize she was staring until the editor’s voice brought her back to reality.

„Jane, let’s go.”

„Yeah, sorry. After you.” -she said as they stepped out to the bullpen. The blonde apparently caught her staring. She mentally kicked herself. _Why do I always have to be such a weirdo around her?_

They reached the boss’s office and Jacqueline turned around to face the brunette, not realising that she was right behind her. She held her breath for a split second, then stepped back, only to see Jane’s eyes widen with surprise.

„We’re the same height!” -Jane exclaimed, almost bouncing with excitement.

„Sorry, Jane, but what?”

„You’re wearing flats, I’m wearing heels and now we’re the same height. -she looked into blue eyes- So, I guess this is how it feels to be a grown up.” -she chuckled and stood up as straight as she could.

Jane was much more relaxed around her since their trip to the ER and the sparkle in her eyes made Jacqueline’s heart melt. _It should be against the company policy to be this adorable during working hours._

„Well, don’t get used to it.”

„How is your ankle doing?”

„Unfortunately I had to cut back on my step goal and throw out my Louboutins, but apart from these losses it’s much better, thank you.”

„Aww, poor Louboutins. Don’t mention this to Oliver, he might cry.”

„Or maybe he would be angry because educated me multiple times on the correct use of high heels and walking on the treadmill certainly doesn’t count as correct use. -she apperared to be deep in thought for a moment, imagining the situation- And then he would cry.”-she said matter-of-factly.

„Oh my god, I can practically hear him screaming „ _You killed my babies”-_ Jane imitated Oliver’s voice so perfectly that it made them both giggle.

„So what is it that you wanted to talk about?”-Jacqueline changed the subject.

They discussed the article that Jane pitched. The editor always enjoyed these talks, no matter what was bothering her before, she put that aside to focus on Jane. The brunette was brilliant and insightful beyond her years, if her brain was a newspaper her boss would have been her number one reader.

Jane went back to her desk and started typing enthusiastically. Jacqueline was about to get to work when Oliver stormed in without knocking.

„I hope I’m either going deaf or hallucinating and you didn’t really just use the words _Louboutin_ and _throw away_ in the same sentence.”

„Hello to you, too, Oliver. Yes, you can absolutely come in.”

As he stepped closer he took a glimpse of Jacqueline’s injured ankle.

„You did the treadmill thing again??? Jacqueline, you are a sensible woman. How many times do I have to tell you that these beauties are not made for exercise? You killed my babies... and your ankle, too.”

The blonde had to bite back a laugh when Oliver told exactly what Jane had predicted. She glanced through the bullpen, caught the eyes of the brunette and shot her a meaningful look. Jane saw Oliver and started laughing, hiding her face behind her computer screen.

Jacqueline turned back to Oliver who was looking back and forth between her and the bullpen like he was trying to calculate something in his head.

„What are you doing?”

„Trying to figure out who you sent that look to.”

„What look?”

„ _That_ look. Don’t play dumb, you know exactly what I mean. So, judging by the angle I narrowed it down to Sage, Alex and Jane. Sage? Oh hell no. Alex? He’s cute, but not your type. That leaves us with... _Jane?_ Honestly, I’m surprised, but I’m also _not_ surprised.”-he gave her a knowing smile.

„I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

„Okay, it’s none of my business, anyway. Just be careful. I mean... with the treadmill.”

„Thank you.”

„Anytime. Now I have to get back to my own little empire where Louboutins can live a long and happy life. RED!!!”-he shouted while marching towards the fashion closet.

The suddenly felt a lump in her throat. _What if he tells Sutton, or Jane, or anyone else for that matter? And what is there to tell exactly? Okay, I need to talk to him._  
She would usually ask Andrew to schedule a sit-down with him, but this time she decided to do it by herself.

„Oliver, do you have a few minutes for me? I have some questions about the new layout that you’ve suggested.”-she asked, trying to sound casual.

„Sure, go ahead, I’m all ears.”-he said without looking up.

„Would you mind joining me for a coffee while we talk?”

Oliver finally looked up, nodded and followed Jacqueline to the lobby. The editor ordered her latte and they took a seat in the corner, far away from curious ears.

„It’s not about the layout, is it.”

„No. Oliver, when I looked at _... her_ , what did you see?”-her voice was weaker than usual.

„I can’t find the correct word for it, but you definitely don’t look at your employees like that. I know she’s always been special for you, but this look... It was caring, gentle, but also... _suggestive_. Jacqueline, what’s going on?”

„Honestly? I don’t know. We’re close, but not in a friendly or motherly way. I can’t really explain. Sometimes I just watch her face or listen to her talking about... well, anything and I feel like I could never get bored of her. Do you know what I mean?”

„I know _exactly_ what you mean. Have you ever... you know?”

„Oh, god, no. I’m trying to keep things professional.”

„If the phrase „ _keeping it professional_ ” was in the dictionary your picture would be next to it, but Jacqueline, you are a human being. You _deserve_ to have a life outside this building. If you think that this could work between you two without affecting Scarlet then you shouldn’t let this damn company stop you. What if she is your soulmate and the world ends tomorrow? Sorry, this got way too cheesy, but I think you get the idea.”

„I do, but this is still crazy. A lot of people end up on page 6 because of affairs like this. A middle-aged, recently divorced _female_ editor and her young _female_ writer, how does that sound to you? Oh, and the editor also happens to have 2 kids.”

„Yeah, it sounds really nasty if you put it like that. What about a board member in his forties and a twenty-something assistant who is trying to climb higher on the career ladder? Unacceptable, right? Oh, wait, this is an actual relationship at our company and all they had to do was sign a few papers and no one has been bothering them ever since. And before you start saying that Jane is directly under you, _no pun intended_ , we both know that she is mostly working for Patrick now.”-he finished his rant and looked at the blonde expectantly.

He could almost hear the wheels turning in the editor’s head, but she didn’t say anything, so he continued.

„Look, I can’t tell you what to do but I have to say that Jane is an amazing woman and if there is one couple in this Earth who can make it work under these shitty circumstances, it’s you two.”

Jacqueline blushed at the word _couple_.

„We’re far from being a couple.”

„I know, all I’m saying is you should be _open_. -he made a dramatic gesture- _Open to love.”_

Jacqueline rolled her eyes. She finished her coffee and stood up to leave.

„It was nice talking to you Oliver, but we both have work to do. I think I can count on you to...”

„Keep my mouth shut, of course. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

„Thank you, I appreciate it.”-she offered him a relieved smile.

Jacqueline went back to work, but her mind kept going back to what Oliver said. _Was he right, could it really work? What does „it” mean exactly? I’m not even sure about what I want, let alone what Jane wants. I can’t just walk up to her and ask her out on a date, I’m her boss, for god’s sake._

She wished she could just jump on the treadmill and walk out all the distracting thoughts, but last time she resorted to this she ended up in the ER and her ankle was still recovering from that. She searched for Jane with her eyes and found her at her desk, still typing eagerly. For a moment she wished the brunette hadn’t got fired from Incite, but Jane undoubtedly belonged to Scarlet. Unfortunately, they both did.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, thanks for all the kind comments so far. I have to confess that this chapter is not my favourite but I felt like it needed to be written. I hope you will enjoy reading it more than I enjoyed writing it, haha. I haven't seen season 3 yet, don't know what's going on, so this story doesn't follow the original storyline.  
> Warning:  
> THIS CHAPTER ENDS WITH THE DESCRIPTION OF A PANIC ATTACK. I know it can be triggering for some people to read about stuff like this, so proceed with caution.  
> 

„Hey, tiny Jane, ready to leave?”-Kat chimed as she marched towards Jane’s desk, only to see her still completely absorbed in her work.

„Nope, staying late tonight.”-the brunette answered without looking up.

„You forgot it again, didn’t you. A to-do list junkie who is also forgetful, you’re a living paradox, babe.”

„Forgot what?”

„Does _Activity Night_ ring any bells?”

„Oh, that’s tonight? -Kat gave her a deadly look which made her put her hands up in defence- Alright, I think I will just finish this up tomorrow then.”

She picked up her bag and linked arms with Kat who practically pulled her to the elevator.

„What’s up with Sutton?”

„Date night with Richard. If you checked our group chat sometimes you would know.”

„Sorry, babe, I was busy. Jacqueline’s been pushing us hard lately and Patrick... Well, you know Patrick.”

„Yeah... Don’t get me started on that guy.”

***

„Told you, I always win.”-Kat boasted.

„Excuse me, but WE won. Together.”-Jane replied and punched her playfully in the shoulder.

They sat down at the bar holding their coupons for free drinks like they were trophies, but before they could order the bartender gave Jane a vodka cranberry.

„It’s from _him_.”-he pointed at a guy sitting nearby.

The brunette eyed the guy who cracked a charming smile but it quickly faded away when she tossed the drink to Kat and turned away without saying a word. The taller woman witnessed the scene and pulled a face that said „Ouch.” Jane just shrugged.

„You’re not interested, I get it, but you can still drink it, you know.”

„I think I will stick with cranberry juice for tonight. Without the vodka.”

„As you wish, M’lady. A cranberry juice, please.”-she called out to the bartender.

Kat’s phone chimed and she reached for it. Her face lit up as she read the text.

„It’s from Adena.”

„Yeah, I figured. How’s she doing? She’s at a retreat, right?”

„Yes, she loves it. Says it’s a _fulfilling experience._ ”-she rolled her eyes at her girlfriend’s choice of words.

Her phone beeped once more but this time she quickly turned it down after checking it. Jane could see her blush.

„It’s no big deal, I’ve already seen her naked. We all did.”-she deadpanned.

„Oh yeah, she forgot to inform me that she was a nudist. I mean, she _did_ walk around naked at home, but everyone does that, right?”

„No, not really.”-Jane shook her head. She couldn’t help but wonder how many clothes did _one particular person_ wear at home.

They sipped their drinks in silence when they heard a woman’s voice from behind.

„Hey, beautiful lady, can I buy you a drink?”

Kat immediately recognized the accent even though the other woman was trying to hide it. She spun around grinning from ear to ear and jumped right into Adena’s arms.

„When you sent those texts you were already here, you liar.”-she mocked an offended face.

„I wanted to surprise you.”

„You did. Why did you leave so early? There are still 2 days left.”

„I’ve already seen everything I needed to see, shot what I wanted to shoot and just hanging around for 2 days isn’t fun without you.”

 They shared a quick kiss before turning back to the brunette.

„Jane, how are you doing?”-Adena asked with a smile.

„Apart from 2 editors dancing on my nerves simultaneously I’m fine, thanks.”

„That dude over there sent her a drink and she turned her down, like, _super hard_.”-Kat added.

„Too bad, he looks cute.”

Kat looked at her girlfriend and narrowed her eyes.

„What? I’m gay, not blind.”-she chuckled.

„Yeah, he’s not bad, but I’m far from being interested right now.”

„Well, at least your cute little ass got me a drink.”

Adena suppressed a yawn.

„Sorry, you’re not boring, I’m just really tired.”-she said apologetically.

„Do you mind if we...”-Kat started.

„No, babe, it’s okay, go home. See you tomorrow.”-the brunette answered. She wanted to spend some time alone, anyway.

Kat enveloped her in a hug.

„Bye, munchkin, stay safe, OK?”

„I will. Love you.”

„Love you, too.”

After they had left Jane just sat there, lost in thought. She desperately needed a drink, but decided to go for a walk instead. She was about 5 blocks away from the bar when a familiar feeling started creeping up on her. It started in her chest and slowly but unstoppably spread everywhere in her body. She immediately recognized it. _Panic attack._

Something was gripping her chest, squeezing all the air out of her lungs _. It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real_.-she kept repeating to herself but nothing could stop the uncontrollable fear that filled every little part of her being. She wanted to run, but felt paralyzed at the same time, so she just kept wandering through the streets at a snail's pace and eventually arrived at a familiar location. Her vision was blurry, but she recognized the building. _She stood right in front of Jacqueline’s house._


	7. Chapter 7

Jacqueline was at home finishing up her famous green curry when her phone rang. When she saw the caller’s name her eyes widened with surprise.

„Jane?”

„Yes.... I’m.... here...”-a shaky voice answered.

„Where? At my apartment?”

„Y-y-yes”

„Stay where you are, I’m coming for you, okay?”

Something was terribly wrong with Jane. The editor practically ran to the elevator and tapped nervously with her feet while it descended to the ground floor. As it stopped and the door opened she pulled herself back together. She couldn’t let Jane see that she was in fact terrified. She immediately saw the brunette standing nearby, quickly scanned her for any torn clothes or visible injuries and felt a little bit of relief when she found none. As she stepped closer she realised how pale the younger woman was. Her forehead was sweaty, her pupils dilated and she was clearly hyperventilating.

„Jane, what happened?”-she asked, taking her hand without hesitation.

„Nothing... Just....Panic...”-she stuttered.

„You’re having a panic attack?”

The brunette nodded.

Jacqueline didn’t say anything, just put her hand over the violently shaking woman’s shoulder and led her towards the elevator. They arrived at her flat, the blonde led Jane to the couch and sat down next to her, taking the smaller hands in hers once again. _God, they are ice cold._

„You don’t have to talk if it’s hard for you, just nod, okay? Is this your first attack?”

Jane shook her head.

„Do you have any medications?”

She shook her head again.

„Is there anything I can do to help you?”

This time Jane didn’t signal with her head. „Stay.”-that was all she said.

The blonde acted without thinking. She wrapped her arm around Jane’s shoulders and pulled her close until her head was resting on Jacqueline’s chest. The brunette snuggled up to her as close as she could. Her brain was still in „fight of flight” mode so it wasn’t capable of analyzing the situation and what this intimate position meant for them. She felt a little bit safer in Jacqueline’s arms but her body was still shaking and even though she knew this was just panic she felt like she was about to die.

The attack slowly came to an end. Jacqueline could feel the shaking subside and the other woman’s breathing getting more even. _Poor baby, this must have been awful._ -she thought and for the first time didn’t reprimand herself for using such an affectionate word _._ She just listened to her breathing, _in and out, in and out,_ and closed her eyes.

She woke up a few hours later and found Jane snoring softly with her head still on her chest. As much as she would have loved to go back to sleep _or probably stay like this forever_ she knew they needed to lie down properly or her back would be killing her the next day.

„Jane, – she mumbled softly into her hair – We fell asleep.”

The brunette just grunted and buried her face in the crook of Jacqueline’s neck. She could feel her warm breath on the sensitive skin and it gave her goosebumbs. _You’re not making it easy on me, are you._ Knowing that the other woman was still asleep she gave in to her heart and placed a light kiss on her forehead _. I should wake her up. I don’t want her to wake up in the morning, realise that we have to go to work and go into full anxious Jane mode._

She caressed Jane’s bare arm, hoping that it would wake her up. When it didn’t work she shook her shoulder gently. This seemed to do the trick as she slowly opened her eyes.

„Hey – she said in a raspy voice – What time is it?”

Jacqueline reached for her phone and checked the time.

„3 a.m.-she announced- Are you feeling better?”

„Kind of. At least I’m not feeling like I’m actively dying.” -she chuckled.

„I’m happy to hear that. I was worried about you.”-she said softly.

As Jane’s mind became clearer she realised that she was comfortably snuggled up to the taller woman who absolutely didn’t seem to mind.

 „Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to come here, I was just walking when it started and I kept going from street to street trying to fight it, then I randomly ended up at your house.”

Jacqueline wanted to say something, but the brunette’s eyes suddenly grew wide.

„Oh my god, we have work tomorrow... I mean, today, in a few hours. I’m not in the mood for a walk of shame, even if it’s not _really_ a walk of shame. I should go home.”

„Or you could stay, go in early and borrow something from the fashion closet. I also have a spare toothbrush for you if that helps. Look, I don’t mean to... -she sighed- I’m just not comfortable with the thought of you going home alone this late just a few hours after having a panic attack.”-she finished, hoping that she didn’t go too far.

„You have a point. Would you judge me if I just went to bed now and brushed my teeth in the morning?”

The blonde laughed.

„Absolutely not. Would you judge me if I gave you one of James’s pajamas? You’re too tiny for mines.”

„Not at all.”

Jacqueline let go of the shorter woman, disappeared in the boys’s room and returned with a simple grey T-shirt and striped PJ shorts.

„Sorry, these were the only ones without superheroes. -she rolled her eyes- I think they’re about your size.”

„Thank you” -she chuckled and took the pajamas to the bathroom to change. She returned a few minutes later and this was the exact moment when the phrase _cuteness overload_ started to make sense for Jacqueline.

 „I’ve never shopped at GAP Kids before but maybe I should give it a try. These are really comfy.”-Jane chimed.

„They look good on you.” -the blonde said with a smirk. _Good_ was clearly an understatement but even this innocent word made the younger woman blush. 

They were both wearing pajamas and ready to go to bed but they just stood there like two teenagers at the end of their first date. Finally the younger woman broke the silence.

„Can I get a blanket? It’s kind of chilly out there.”

„Of course, but I have a king sized bed in my bedroom, you can sleep there if that’s OK.”-the blonde offered, hoping that Jane won’t take it as a booty call.

The attack left Jane too weak to protest and she really could have used a comfier bed, so she followed the blonde to the bedroom.

They took their places under the king sized comforter. Jane was so exhausted that she fell asleep right away while Jacqueline spent a good 5 minutes trying to find the appropriate distance between them. She finally settled for an arm length’s distance, but all her careful planning went into waste when Jane rolled over in her sleep, moved in closer until their bodies were touching and put an arm around her.She though about moving away, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. She promised herself to return to her professional self the next day, but for the time being she was perfectly content with being Jane Sloane’s little spoon.


End file.
